Extended Adolescence

I’ve done some research lately on Extended Adolescence and I’d like to share some of the things people are saying about the culture in which our teenagers are growing up. Much of this is a summary of work done by Mark Yaconelli and Mark Oestreicher.

All you have to do is take a retrospective glance and you’ll see that Americans are “kids” longer now that they were 50, 20 or even 10 years ago. The attitudes and actions we associate with adolescence (rebellion, moodiness, lack of other-awareness) can be seen not just in teenagers, but well into the twenties and even thirties in some cases. And the upper range of adolescence is growing all the time. In the 1970s, research concluded that adolescence began at 12 and ended at 18. This is why 18 is the age of “adulthood” at which Americans can vote, join the military and marry without parental consent. Now, forty years later, adolescence begins (on average) at age 10 and ends (on average) at age 30. Some researchers suggest that eventually there will be no upper limit to the age of adolescence. Instead it will be a “lifestyle choice” that some make to never grow into full adulthood.

What researchers are learning is that adolescence is not a physiological phenomenon (related to puberty), but a cultural phenomenon. In other words, young people act this way because that is how we are telling them they should act. Want evidence? Look to the past. Your grandparents were adults who handled major responsibility at the same age that your children have to be coaxed out of bed every morning to go to school. We didn’t change that much biologically in three generations. It’s cultural. Also, a look at world cultures will reveal that extended adolescence only occurs in first world cultures that are influenced by American media. What this means is our young people are not “late bloomers,” they are just being told that they are children when in truth they are not.

So why has this happened? Others have made many suggestions that can be boiled down to three:

1. We have systematically isolated youth from the adult world.
Teenagers have very little regular interaction with adults, other than those who are paid to be with them in their culture. Classrooms are full of teens and teen culture. Youth groups are often seen as a separate church for young people.

2. We removed responsibility and expectation.
Adulthood is characterized by responsibility and expectation. In the name of protecting our teens, we often soften the consequences of their actions and provide them with lowered expectations. This teaches them that they are children, and they act accordingly.

3. We removed on-ramps to adulthood and inter-generational relationships.
The presence of adult relationships provides an opportunity for teens to see adulthood firsthand and learn by example how to accept meaningful responsibility and consequences.

This post is bunches of gloom, but there is good news- since extended adolescence is NOT biological, but cultural, we can change it. We can choose the culture in which our families will live. We can choose the culture we want for our youth group. In subsequent posts, I’ll discuss ways we can change our culture and help our teens grow into the fruitful adults God wants them to be.

If You are in the CoC, Your Brain is About to Explode

I just finished a paper about Alexander Campbell and Barton W. Stone. You know those guys. The ones who led the Restoration Movement. You know, our claim to fame in the church of Christ. You know.

But what you didn't know MAY SHOCK YOU!

Though they teamed up to lead the same movement, AC and BWS were as different as Cher and Willie Nelson. Their personalities were different, their worldviews were different and their lifestyles were different. A lot of learned folk say this is why there was an eventual split in the Movement in 1906 that resulted in two groups being formed: the Christian Church and the Church of Christ. My paper was about one of the many differences between these two ancient manfolks: Their radically different views of the millennium.

Have you thought about what you believe about the "millennium" talked about in Revelation? Maybe you've read those Left Behind books. Maybe you've never heard of this millenni-thing. What do you think about life after death? Straight to heaven or hell? I don't know. But I know what AC and BWS thought.

Campbell was of the opinion that before Jesus returned to earth, there would be a 1,000 year period characterized by peace, justice, good weather, easy farming and general warm and fuzziness in which everyone in the world would be a Christian. He wrote that this Millennium would start because of human efforts. He thought his Restoration Movement could be the spark that started the 1,000 year period. He thought that all of the advances in technology made in his lifetime were indicative that human progress was reaching the pinnacle of greatness that would usher in the Millennium. That's why he came out with a journal called Millennial Harbinger, which means, "Bringer of the Millennium."

Stone, however, was convinced that Jesus could come at any time, and that only the return of Jesus would start the 1,000 years of peace and plenty. He carried a worldview that was a little more pessimistic toward humanity than Campbell's. Stone looked around and saw slavery, poverty, arguing among Christians and other social ills that led him to believe that the world was crumbling and had been dying since it was born. To Stone, humanity would not be the bringer of the millennium, but God alone.

Each of these guys lived a totally different lifestyle that probably contributed to the way they interpreted Revelation. Of course AC would be optimistic about the world- he was rich (when he died, his estate was worth the equivalent of $20 million today) and popular and important. Barty had every reason to be Eyore, since he was poor, unknown and had given his everything to the promotion of the Movement and the end of Slavery, only to see nothing come of it.

As the story goes, everyone eventually sided with Campbell's view and persecuted people who followed Stone's view. Then, when the Civil War came and the country started going to poo, they left AC's theory behind as well. As a result, today the Christian Churches and the Churches of Christ are not POSTmillennial (like Campbell) or PREmillennial (like Stonesie), but Amillennial (meaning, the wast majority of churches in these fellowships don't believe in a literal millennium). Most people in these fellowships see the second coming, judgment, the destruction of earth and assignment in heaven or hell all happening at one single millisecond (not a biblical conclusion).

To conclude, neither Stone nor Campbell thought that one's view of the millennium should be a test of fellowship. They didn't think this was such an important issue that it is worth arguing over and neither should you. However, you should take the time, as a Christian, to develop your own eschatology, that is, your view of last things, or what happens at the end of time. If you roll Romans and Thessalonians and Revelation and Peter Jesus together, you may be surprised about what they are all saying about the end.

If you have more interest in the millennial views of Stone and Campbell (you shouldn't), and would like to learn more (why?!) you can read some of the work done by Richard Hughes (don't!). Or if you want to read my 25 page paper (you don't) just leave me your email address (you are insane) and I'll send you a copy.

Pictured above: Barton W. Stone with spectacles hidden in his windblown hair, Alexander Campbell, probably the scariest father in-law ever, and the cover to the Backstreet Boys 1999 chart-topping album, Millennium which featured the #1 hit, "Larger Than Life," which is ironic because AC's eyebrows were larger than life.

That's the Power of The Home Depot

You might not have known that I work part-time at The Home Depot. I started working there at the end of August. I've never worked in retail before, and I'm enjoying it. I realized last week that it had been almost two months since my last post, so I promised myself a week ago that I would blog about whatever might happen the following week. I now fulfill that promise.

I work in flooring. Mostly, I talk to people all day about how to lay tile, how much it will cost them to carpet their house, what they should use to clean their laminate and why they should never put solid wood down in the kitchen. This past week, I did all of those things, but the noteworthy experiences happened outside department 23.

On Monday, a customer needed help finding picture hangers, so I took her to hardware and pointed them out. Then, as I made my way back to the flooring department, another customer reached up and touched my elbow. I stopped and she whispered in my ear, "You might want to watch that guy over there. He's acting drunk and reeks of beer." I thanked her and walked over to the man at the end of the aisle. I asked if he needed any help finding anything and he responded with a "No, thanks," that smelled like a warm draft from a pit of vipers writhing in crude oil.

I went around the corner and told Jack, the department head of hardware. Jack is the human version of a lawn gnome. Note that I did not say he looks like the human version of a lawn gnome. I said he is the human version of a lawn gnome. Four foot something with a huge gray beard, always wearing a Home Depot hat. Glasses. Gnome. Anyway, I told him about the guy and when he peeked around the corner at him, he saw the guy shoving drill bits down his pants.

Yes, we got thiefed. Since we'd be fired if we tried to stop the guy, all we could do is watch him and wait for a manager to come. No one came in time. He just walked out with drawers full of merch and we had to just watch him go. Thiefed.

The next big event happened on Tuesday. I went over to the kitchen and bath area because I heard someone raising their voice. It turned out to be a customer arguing with Kathy in kitchens about what product to use on a piece of granite. He somehow came into possession of a two inch thick slab of granite that he'd been using as a turntable. He was not satisfied, however with the inconsistency between the polished look of the top of the granite and the unpolished cut around the edges of the slab. Kathy told the man he should buy a granite polish to make the sides look right. He as convinced he needed to "make the sides wet," as evidenced by his repeated action of licking the side of one of our sample pieces of granite.

Kathy was getting nowhere, so I brought the man over to the flooring department and tried to explain to him that he needed to buy the polish. In the middle of my spiel, he saw a $20 bottle of sealer and became fixated on it, convinced it was he product he needed. And he kept licking the sample granite.

Finally, he said he knew he was right and he was going to buy the $20 sealer. "Ok," I said. Then he started to open it. I told him if he opened it, he would have o buy it, because we couldn't sell an opened hazardous material. He nodded really hard and said he just wanted to show me that he was right. You know what happened. He opened it. He was wrong. Then he put it back on the shelf and left. And he took the granite sample. Thiefed.

Finally, on Wednesday I was cornered by a lady on a Hover-Round who had just bought two cans of paint for her daughter's house. She started talking and just wouldn't stop. I learned she was 85 years old with a boyfriend who was a nice guy, but not as fun as the man she dated thirty years ago who took her fishing in the ocean, but that guy turned out to be a little scary, which reminded her of her traumatic childhood in which she was thrown in the cellar by her om's boyfriend and left for hours and hours and hours and hours all by herself for hours and hours and hours and now this post is starting to resemble our thirty minute conversation so I'll stop here.

My week at The Home Depot.

Discipleship

In an earlier post about balancing Knowledge and Obedience, I stated that following Jesus should be about obedience and not about knowledge. I also said the phrase "Obedience Based Discipleship" is a misnomer that can be misleading. This post will clarify that statement. It might all go down smoother if you re-read the post, called "Balance" before you read this post.

Those whose eyes have been opened to the power of radical obedience to God's word have a generally similar experience. They are immediately awed at the simplicity of putting God's word into immediate, measurable action. They quickly see improvement in their walk with God as they devote themselves to studying with a mind to obey. They also have an eagerness to share this discovery with others. Then comes a feeling of frustration because many of the people they tell either don't get it or pick it apart until they find enough faults to dismiss it.

For example, I recently spoke in chapel at Harding Grad. I presented the ideas in the "Balance" blog and an accompanying application of Matthew 7. Afterward, a faculty member politely noted that what I said sounded a tad legalistic. I was not surprised. I had heard it before. My internal response was, "What I said was no more legalistic than what Jesus said."

When we are communicating to other nonbelievers about obedience, they hear (rightly) that Christianity holds a high standard. When they make an acquaintance of Jesus in the context of his demands of obedience, they understand him (correctly) as someone who gives much and expects much. However, when we are communicating with believers about obedience, a red flag is lifted at the sheer mention of the o-word. Phrases flash through their minds like, "saved by grace through faith." To base discipleship on obedience, in their minds, is to strive to save oneself by works.

To their credit, there are some pitfalls to the obedience based mindset. For all its strength, it can be a slippery slope to some unbiblical attitudes.

1. Pride. I have seen this in others and been guilty of it myself. When we have this life-changing epiphany and realize that measurable obedience should replace a premium on knowledge, there can be a tendency to look down upon the "uninitiated." I'm not talking about lost people, but people beside us in the pews and in our Bible classes. We can forget that we were once where they are. We shake our heads sometimes because they have not arrived. We forget that although we may be a little further down the road, we also have not yet arrived.

2. Legalism. When the pendulum swings away from knowledge and toward obedience, the momentum can carry it too far. By legalism, I am referring to earning salvation and favor from God as well as making a false idol out of literal obedience. We have to remember that God loves the obedient and the disobedient. We are obedient not because we want to earn his love, but because we want to show our love and because he commanded it.

3. Weakening Scriptural Mastery. That sounds ridiculous, but I couldn't think of a better way of wording it. Often there are trade-offs when we do something a certain way. Before I began studying the Bible with a mind to obey, I studied for facts, facts, and more facts. My Bible time was about quantity, not quality. I considered volume a measure of success (hence the "read the Bible in a year" programs). After I changed my study approach, however, my sights narrowed significantly. Determined to obey everything I learned, it became more and more critical to read in small chunks. If I read five chapters, for example, I could never keep up with my obedience to all of the imperatives. As a result, I focused more on small sections of Scripture. Over time, this had a negative affect on my familiarity with the whole of the Bible. The trade-off of quality over quantity has its drawbacks.

The above warnings do not discredit Obedience Based Discipleship. Until I am introduced to a more biblical way to live, I will not change. As I disciple nonbelievers, I will continue to emphasize, as Jesus did, that obedience is not an option. We do the lost no favors when we make Christianity look easier than it really is. The above is simply a caution for anyone, including myself, who would attempt to place a premium on obedience.

On to the misnomer. I mentioned that the word "obedience" can be a turn-off to some believers because to them it reeks of legalism. Upon realizing this, I toyed with a few other names for it. "Faith Based Discipleship." "Discipleship of Faithfulness." "Radical Discipleship." In the end, though, they all sounded a little redundant. So, from now on, when I share with my fellow believers this way of life I am so passionate about, I will call it what it should have been called all along...

Discipleship.

For Auntie Denise

I love my iPhone, but sometimes it it makes me call people on accident. The other day, I was trying to call my father in-law to tell him I was going to the grocery store and offer to pick up some peanuts for him. The man likes peanuts. And Skinny Cow Low Fat Ice Cream Snacks. Anyway, I went to my "Recent Calls" screen and accidentally touched my aunt's name instead of Mark's. It was no problem, because I caught it in time and I just hung up really fast. Then I called Mark, who did not want peanuts, but suggested I buy some lunch meats.

My wife has always wondered if I act out for other people or if I am a goofus all the time, even when I'm by myself. When she asked me about it, I could only guess at the answer. My initial thought was that I am fairly consistent in my behavior, but I could think of no specific instances in which I was goofin solo. So, the question remained an enigma... until the aforementioned day, after I left the grocery with various meats but no peanuts.

I was alone in the car, driving south on Rufe Snow, and "Jesus Take the Wheel" was on the radio. I don't know why or how it started, but by the time I got to my turn on Chapman, I was singing the chorus as loud as I could, purposefully hitting all the wrong notes. I was really getting into it and thinking about how funny this would be if anyone could hear it when I heard a noise coming from my left hand. Yes, I had accidentally called my aunt. Yes, she had answered this time. Yes, the phone was on speaker.

Yes, I pretended it happened on purpose.

I've recorded the transcript of our conversation below.


-----


Auntie: Ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha ha. (this is what I heard while singing the line
"give me one more chance")

Auntie: What are you doing?!

Michael: Singing "Jesus, Take the Wheel."

Auntie: I can hear that, but you don't sound much like Terry Bradshaw.

Michael: You're right, but I think it's Carrie Underwood.

Auntie: Oh! Ha ha! You're right! Terry Bradshaw is the girl from Sex in the City.


-----



It was great talking to my aunt. I think we are a lot alike. Her name is Cindy, but for some reason, I have always called her Auntie Denise. Kris says I get my sense of humor from her. If you or anyone you know is interested in a beautiful, fully restored home in Panama City, Florida, she'll sell you one.

Balance

The mark of a disciple is not knowledge, but obedience.

When I was eight-ish, my mom had me staying with a babysitter when she worked nights. The lady who watched me was Mrs. Ann Brady of Columbia, TN. We had a lot of good times together. Popcorn is my favorite food. I'm positive this is because she cooked it on the stove every night. We would eat it while we watched Murder She Wrote. Good times. Mrs. Brady was also a devoted Christian, and she did what she could to influence me. I remember she once had me memorize the books of the Bible. Old Testament and New. While writing them out for the hundredth time, I asked why I needed to know this information. She said, "One day, when you get to heaven, they might ask you the books of the Bible before they let you in."

I tell people about this and they laugh. But really, isn't it common for Christians to equate Biblical knowledge with righteous living? In a Bible class on any given Sunday, if the group was tasked with choosing a spiritual leader, would not most groups choose as their leader the individual with the most Biblical knowledge? I say this is not as it should be.

Most of us who grew up in American church culture know that a high premium is placed on knowledge. This was reinforced when we got a gold star for memorizing verses. Or when we got a plaque at Bible Bowl or a medal at Lads to Leaders. Or when a child was counseled by a parent or minister that she should not be baptized because "she doesn't know enough yet." Need more examples?

The troubling thing is that we have been conditioned to learn facts without immediately obeying them. For years, we have studied daily devotions, completed Read-the-Bible-in-a-Year programs, and taken copious notes in sermons and Bible classes. All the while, downloading facts for the sake of knowledge but not with a mind to obey. We all meant well, and the end we had in mind was closeness to God. Our intentions were pure. Unfortunately, learning something we should do, and then not doing it has become a habit. A habit we have to break!

Some have suggested that our study of the Bible should be done with a mind to obey. New imperatives should not be learned until you are practicing what you've already learned. The pattern would be learn-obey-learn-obey... as opposed to learn-learn-learn-learn-obey-learn-learn. You see that a new habit is being formed.

When put into practice, this can be so freeing. When we immediately obey what we have learned, we are expressing love to the one who said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."

Some have referred to this practice (and modeling/mentoring this practice for others) as "Obedience Based Discipleship." However, this is a misnomer that can lead to confusion. I'll discuss that in a later post.

In the meantime, don't sweat it if you can't think of what book comes after Lamentations. Or if you can't remember how many p's are in Philippians. In the entrance exam, I doubt they will count off too much for spelling. Simply don't allow yourself to accumulate knowledge without first acting on what you know.

Security

We knew before we left China that it would be difficult to maintain the fervor and intensely spiritual perspective we had cultivated there. Two months after landing in America, we're seeing that prophecy unfurl into truth. One of the challenges we face here that we never considered in China was the temptation to bend the knee before the god of Security.

Kris and I were reading in 2 Chronicles 16 a few nights ago, where King Asa's legend is recorded. Evidently, he had a strong showing as a king of Judah. He commanded the people of Judah to follow the Lord and had all of the idols torn down in the land. Unfortunately, there is one blemish on Asa's record. Although he tore down the literal idols, he (like many of us) bowed to the idol of Security.

When another king made plans to attack Asa, he scoured his kingdom, collecting silver and gold to send to a neighboring king in order to buy his allegiance and stave off war. Asa's plan worked, war was averted and his enemies were defeated, but God was not pleased. Why? Because when trouble came, Asa "relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the Lord."

I know the feeling. Did you know that the Master's of Divinity (the degree I'm pursuing) is in the top five lowest-paying graduate degrees in the nation? It's true. What if there are no jobs available? And if there are, what if the salary's too low to support my family? Why not cut bait and transfer my hours to a more profitable degree? Kris and I are planning to go back to the mission field in about four years. That's a bone-head move financially speaking. When we come home from five or ten years of mission work, I'll be in my mid to late thirties, starting from scratch. Why not just stay here, get a good job and start building tenure? I mean, it's the safest bet.

One of the surprising things about Asa's decision to put his faith in Security instead of his Lord is that years before, in the infancy of his kingship, an army of a million Ethiopians waged war on Judah. Against those impossible odds, Asa cried out to the Lord, "O Lord, there is none like you to help, between the mighty and the weak. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you..." That day, the Lord defeated the Ethiopians and their 300 chariots.

As I'm tempted every day to put my faith in myself or in my resources or my education or my connections, I need to remember the battles of the past. At the end of the day, my strength pales in comparison to His.

"For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose hearts are completely his."